The Gentle Bear & The Busy Bee

Being from New York and moving barely before my nineteenth birthday, clear across the country to a desert town, I eventually met my husband almost four years later. He introduced me to the norms of being a desert rat, as he called it. From then on, I decided to adopt his way of life for myself. Almost.

I find this type of life so abundantly slower place in lieu of my home state. If I were to relate the culture here, there really isn’t much to tell; because the desert rats lack what we New Yorkers consider culture. Desert rats do not frequent plays, like Phantom of the Opera or Lords of the dance type performances. They do not know what authentic Italian cuisine is, not even pizza. Not any I have sought to find. Yet, where they lack in culture, they rule at how to relax. The desert life barely exudes the norms that generate anxiety and fast paced living. It is all about being creative with the fun and where to find it, out in the desert.

My husband and I are ridiculously contrasted. I have been out of New York now, most of my life. Still, I move about in a much faster pace, I am much more social, opinionated, and I am the one to place the weight of just about everything on to my shoulders. My husband is my voice of reason, he talks slower, moves slower, anxiety barely ever exist in him. It makes me crazy.

My mother use to say, “He is so laid back, you may need to prick him with a pitch fork”. My mother swore he went about without a pulse. We have different interests, points of view, and belief systems. Various friends who know us, say they see us so contrasted, yet we work so well together. I believe we do too.

I think there are times my husband would love to yell at me to just chill out. I am not one to stay idle. What husband tells his wife to stop cleaning? Mine! There are times I would prefer him to be less idle. He has relaxing down to a science. Okay, a fault some of the time.

His calm provides me solace in my very busy mind. He notices the trivial things I might exude just from my body language. Yet, he is not one to directly point it out. Instead, he redirects me with a conversation or funny banter. The best is when he comes out of his own typical persona and does something completely not him to make me laugh. All the while, he looks at me completely serious as if it something he presents of himself daily.

After all our years together, I like to think what I bring to the table is, where he lacks being a conversation filler, I do it for him. And, although he outweighs me by almost one hundred pounds and seven inches taller, I believe I am more apt to protect him and my family rather than he which is what many might expect. He is not a confrontational guy or one to set boundaries. He is a gentle bear. I, a buzzing and busy, little bee, will risk herself if she must, to utilize her stinger.

Somehow, we get to enjoy the honey. Together.      ♥



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